2012 is over just like that.
I’m still not entirely sure how I got through it.
If I had to name the theme of this year, it would be change.
At the beginning of the year, my cousins came to stay at my place for about a month. The three of us barely went outside the whole time. We stayed in the room and played around on a single laptop, taking turns with it. To be honest, I only used it now and then to deal with routine stuff. Most of the time, my older cousin was the one actually playing, while my younger cousin and I sat there watching.
It felt exactly like when we were kids: the older brother playing games, the younger two watching from the side. He even said it himself—days like that, with the three of us hanging out together like brothers, were getting rare. Childhood was over. That part of life had already passed.
The two semesters at school this year felt like two completely different versions of me.
In the first half of the year, after going back to campus, I basically never stayed for evening self-study. Honestly, I always thought those sessions were pretty pointless anyway. But the real problem was that I barely attended class at all. So aside from computer-related courses and PE, where I was close to full marks, I failed almost everything else. Luckily, I passed all the make-up exams.
As for how that stretch of time disappeared, I really couldn’t tell you. It all went by in a blur.
Then came the second half of the year. After returning to school again, life still looked more or less the same on the surface. But during the last two months, something in me woke up. That’s probably the best way to put it.
This time I shouldn’t fail anything. I should pass every course. I’ve got a reward waiting for me, after all.
There was also a period when I became seriously interested in alcohol. I even tried making about twenty jin of grapes into wine myself, but in the end I threw the whole thing away. First attempt. I didn’t know what I was doing.
After that I bought rum, brandy, and gin, and eventually figured out that brandy suited me best.
Then the situation turned around almost immediately. Not long after that, I ended up in a half-sober, half-quit-drinking state.
And over the last two months especially, I really changed—a lot, more than I can easily explain. I owe all of that to one person. Since they’re not part of the group, I won’t say their name.
Some people have said this version of me isn’t the old me they knew.
All I want to say is: what, if I’m not acting sleazy, then I’m suddenly not myself anymore?
Still, the changes are real.
- I spent ten years hanging around internet cafés. Now I don’t go anymore.
- I played Warcraft for seven years. Now I’m completely AFK.
- I never seriously studied anything before. Now I actually do.
- I used to think I’d keep drinking and just pass out my way through life. Now I’m cutting alcohol off.
- I was always a night owl, the kind of person fully awake at midnight. That’s gotten much better.
- I never ate fruit. Now I’m starting to try.
I think these things are worth it.
Actually, no—maybe it’s not even about whether something is worth it or not. Maybe it’s only about whether you’re willing.
And then there’s esports.
That has always been a part of my life.
During the summer, I read all of When Li Xiaofeng Became Sky. After finishing it, I was fired up. Then WCG 2012 started in October, which only made things worse in the best possible way. So I spent a long time practicing StarCraft II.
The result?
I was still at the bottom even in Bronze League on the ladder.
And in the end, I never once played in a real esports tournament.
Sky didn’t win a third title. Moon never became a WCG world champion. Grubby had already reached the point where there was barely any Warcraft III left for him to play. As major esports events around the world dropped Warcraft III one after another, it felt like my own esports story was reaching its limit too.
Maybe dreams really are just beautiful fairy tales.
At the end of the day, I still remember how, around the end of last year, I kept playing Warcraft and wandering through Azeroth because I was helping a friend out.
Back then, everyone was working hard—for the guild, and for that orange staff he wanted. But I have to say it: some people really didn’t play fair. It felt like only a couple of us stayed in it from start to finish to help.
We took all kinds of abuse, survived on Illidan, and eventually built a major guild there. That part was thanks to his effort more than anyone’s.
Later, we transferred over to Grim Batol, and I ended up taking charge. That didn’t last too long, though, because what came next was another shift entirely: everyone AFK, together.
And of course everyone remembers it—once we got home, we even had a little gathering to celebrate going AFK as a group.
I only ask one thing: go easy on forcing drinks on me, especially the two of you who always team up to do it.
So 2012 is over.
We survived the end of the world.
That probably means we ought to keep living in this world with a little more toughness, and keep walking through it with a little more strength.
Because I am Vejel, a proud Vejel.
2013—come at me one on one.